Bizarre
by jremme
Summary: written for saturday night writing challenge. Prompt is cinnamon candies. Valentine's Day drabble involving candies with strange properties mixed with a House/Wilson V-Day prank. Just a fun little one-shot! Rated T cause I'm paranoid


Title: bizarre (for lack of a better title)Author: JremmeRating: K …I think…well, a light T at mostPrompt: Cinnamon candiesPairing(S): no serious ones, just some fun drabbleSummary: Valentine's Day pranks, involving pretty much everyone and the aforementioned candies. Warning(s): Pretty pointless, but a fun read, I hope, and definitely a one-shot! Enjoy! )

Chase was taking a walk around the block before work when he was stopped by a shopkeeper standing just outside the door of a small candy store he couldn't recall having seen before.

"Today's Valentine's Day, my friend! Have you got something for that special someone?"

"I don't really have a special someone right now," Chase responded.

"Well, come in, come in. Perhaps you'll find something anyway."

Chase shrugged and went in. Maybe he could find something to share with his co-workers. He began browsing among the chocolates and the conversation hearts, when his eyes fell upon a plain red box, with no writing on it at all.

"What's in here?" he asked, picking up the box.

"Oh, you don't want those."

"Maybe I do, what are they?"

"They are the hottest cinnamon candies known to man. They also have…special qualities. They're mainly purchased for pranking. I wouldn't recommend giving them to anyone you like."

Chase immediately thought of House, and how amusing it would be for him to try the candies. And it wouldn't hurt Foreman and Cameron to try them either. A harmless prank. He'd just make sure there was plenty of water on hand.

"I'll take them," he said.

He left the shop and went around the corner towards the hospital. He felt a quick strong breeze all of a sudden, and turned around, looking back in the direction he'd come. The shop was gone, leaving an empty lot in its place. Chase furrowed his brow and glanced in the paper sack he carried. The candies were still there. He continued on his way, confused.

When he arrived in the diagnostics room he found a small card with his name on it. Foreman was already sitting at the table, reading his own. He looked up as Chase entered.

"Valentines from Cameron."

Chase sat down and opened his. It was a Littlest Pet Shop valentine and an illustration of a kitten proclaimed, 'You're purr-fect, be my valentine!'

Chase chuckled and replaced the card in its envelope. "What's yours say?"

Foreman passed his. It was of a rabbit holding a large heart. 'Happy Valentine's Day!' the card read simply.

"Think she gave one to House?" Chase asked, passing the valentine back.

They snickered aloud, both knowing the answer.

Cameron came in then, and smiled at them both, waiting for a reaction.

"Thanks for the valentine," Foreman said.

"Yea, thanks."

"You're both welcome." She sat at the table, putting the day's newspaper in the center for anyone who wanted it.

Chase then remembered the candies, and took them out of the bag.

"I brought cinnamon candies if anyone wants them. They're supposed to be the best." He moved to the sink and filled two coffee mugs with water.

Foreman opened the box, and with a thank you, took one out and tasted it. Cameron followed suit. If life had been a cartoon, both would have started breathing fire. They lunged for the mugs as one, and drained them, panting hard, beads of sweat appearing on their foreheads.

"Not funny!" Cameron breathed. Foreman just glared. Chase snickered.

"Sorry. The shopkeeper said they were the hottest candies known to man. I couldn't resist. Here, I'll have one too, just to make it even. Then I'm leaving the rest for House." He glanced at his watch as he got himself a mug of water.

"Then I have to get down to the clinic. I'm late." As he took his own candy, he failed to notice the intense gaze of longing Cameron and Foreman were sharing. He popped the candy in his mouth, and then felt as though an inferno were raging in his mouth. He dumped the mug over his head, and refilled it, drinking it in one gulp.

"Wow! That guy wasn't lying." He glanced at his co-workers. They were ignoring him, still staring at one another.

"Hello?" He waved his hand in front of their faces, then left for the clinic, confused again, leaving the box of candies on the table.

Wilson had been in the office for two hours, and had received a total of 8 phone calls to his cell, all from women he didn't know. It was confusing at best. He considered shutting his phone off, but was afraid that he'd get an important call as soon as he did. He was just signing off on his budget when it rang again. He sighed, and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Dr. James Wilson?"

He was almost afraid to admit it. "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

"You can help me by picking me up tonight for some hot Valentine's Day action! My name is…"

Frightened, Wilson hung up the phone. This was bizarre.

House arrived late as always. He came into the conference room, and spotted the newspaper on the table that Cameron had brought. He ignored the lack of employees and practically lunged for it, heading to his office with it. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob. Where were they?

He knew Chase was, or should have been, in the clinic. But what about the other two? He heard a rustling noise from inside his office, and then noticed that the door was unlocked. He swung it open to reveal his other two ducklings centimeters apart from each other and about to kiss.

"I know it's Valentine's Day and all, but really! And get the hell out of my office!"

They broke apart quickly and, still staring at one another, left, their hands clasped. House watched them go, and shook his head. Bizarre. Then he shrugged it off and sat in his chair, noticing the small envelope with his name on it. He opened it up to reveal a puppy with a heart in its mouth. The card said, 'I think it's puppy love, be mine!'

He rolled his eyes and replaced it in the envelope and turned to the newspaper. He opened it to the personal ads and scanned through them until he found what he was looking for, a satisfied smirk appearing on his face as he did so.

Chase went to the elevator to go to the clinic. It opened to reveal Dr. Cuddy, also heading in that direction.

"Hello Dr. Chase," she said pleasantly.

Chase couldn't take his eyes off of her. She had to be the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life.

"Hello…Lisa," he said amorously.

She raised a brow at him but ignored his tone and the way his eyes wouldn't leave her. The elevator opened and she stepped off, Chase following right behind her.

House hung up his phone after the fourth call. They had all been from strangers, 3 women and 1 man, all asking for hot love. This day was taking a turn for the worse. He shut his phone off, and stuffed it in the drawer of the desk. If any important calls came in, well, that was just too bad.

He ambled out of his office, ignoring Cameron and Foreman cuddling in the corner, and eyed the candies on the table. He took one and put it in his mouth. Not bad. A little hot maybe. No, wait, make that very, very hot! He lunged for the sink and attempted to drink right from the faucet. When this failed, he grabbed a mug, filled it, and proceeded to dump the contents over his head, much as Chase had. He repeated this several times, drank 2 mugfuls, and then collapsed in a chair.

"Whoever brought those is dead," he announced. Foreman and Cameron remained oblivious to what was going on around them. He looked at them, wondering what in the hell had gotten into them. He had to get out of there. It was too weird. He headed for Wilson's office to see how he was doing.

The hallways were blissfully empty, and House burst into Wilson's office to find him on the phone, looking agitated. As he looked at his friend, his eyes grew wide, and he moved to the chair in front of Wilson's desk, sat down, put his elbows up on the desk, put his head in his hands, and stared at Wilson. Wilson said something into the phone, and then his eyes moved to House. They took on a look of utter puzzlement at the intense stare, then he hung up the phone.

"Can I…help you with something?"

"No, nothing, I just wanted to see you."

"O….k. Could you not stare at me like that? I'm already on edge from all these phone calls. I don't know where they're coming from. Have _you_ been getting any?" His voice took on a tone of amusement and curiosity as he asked the question.

"Yea, and it was irritating as hell, but now I'm here with you and everything's just fine."

"House?"

"Yes?"

"You're still staring at me."

"I can't help it You're mesmerizing."

"Well, try hard, cause it's creepy."

House continued staring, then said dreamily, "Go to Boston with me, James."

"What?" Wilson couldn't decide whether House was joking around or just insane. "I'm not going anywhere, with you or anyone else. And you're going to have to leave anyway. I have a patient coming any minute."

House gave him a boo-boo face, and got up slowly.

"I'll be back James Wilson. You can't keep me out forever." Then he was gone. Wilson watched him shut the door, and shook his head as the phone rang yet again.

The day wore on, and Chase continued following Cuddy from room to room. She entered the board room for a meeting and he waited in the hallway. She came out again, and he stopped her.

"Lisa?"

She turned around to face him, and he grabbed her and kissed her full on the lips. She pulled away, surprise written on her face. She looked at him, confused, and he smiled at her suggestively. Her face took on one of fright, and she retreated to her office, locking the door behind her and wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Chase sat in the reception area waiting for her to come out again. He couldn't get enough of her.

Cuddy, for her part, hadn't wanted to say anything after the kiss, but she was getting seriously uncomfortable with Chase's suddenly not leaving her side. His behavior was just bizarre. Why had he kissed her, anyway? Was he crazy? Didn't he have anything else to do? And why her all of a sudden? She wondered what was going on. She decided that, rather than face him again, she'd stay in her office all day. She had plenty to keep herself busy. Hopefully, whatever had gotten into Chase would be out of him by the end of the day.

Cameron sighed, still lying comfortably in Foreman's arms.

"Eric?" she said wistfully.

"Hmm?"

"Let's get married."

"That's a great idea, Alison. You're the best." He nuzzled his nose against hers They got up, left a note in case anyone wanted to watch the ceremony, and headed for the chapel, still holding hands.

After the 35th call, Wilson couldn't take it anymore. He was going to shut his phone off. He stared at it for awhile, then shut the thing off, putting it away for the remainder of the day. There wasn't much left of it anyway.

House paced the halls for most of the day, waiting and thinking about Wilson. Why hadn't he wanted him to come back in between patients? He shook his head sadly, then felt overheated all of a sudden. He went into the restroom and splashed cold water on his face.

He became confused then. What had he been doing? He shook his head again, and went back to his office, thankful that Foreman and Cameron weren't still cuddled up in the corner. So, where were they? Then his eyes caught a piece of paper sitting on the table. He picked it up and read it.

_Getting married in the hospital chapel._

_E and A_

He crumpled up the note and headed off to the chapel, wondering if he was in the twilight zone. When he arrived, the ceremony was well under way. The chaplain was about to announce the marriage. He picked up the bowl of holy water from its place near the pulpit and to the chaplain's horror, dumped it on his fellows, right before their wedding kiss.

"Snap out of it! I have no idea why I put up with this all day, but enough is enough!"

The two instantly opened their eyes, and, seeing the position they were in, immediately backed off, getting some distance between them.

"Thank you, now what, may I ask, is going on?"

They both looked genuinely confused, as if they had no idea what had been going on and no idea why they had been about to become man and wife.

"What happened?' Cameron asked, looking at Foreman, whose face registered the same puzzlement as her voice.

House left them to their musings without an answer to his question and went to his office where he picked up the newspaper again and flipped to the personals. He read the ad he'd taken out once again.

_Want some hot Valentine's Day action?_

_Call Dr. James Wilson at 555-5555_

_I'm good looking and rich, rich, rich!!_

Short, simple, and to the point. And it had been working very well. He vaguely remembered going to Wilson's office at some point during the day and he had been on the phone and had complained about all the phone calls he was getting. House grinned to himself. Success was his. Another Valentine's Day well spent.

He pulled his phone out of the drawer as he prepared to go home. He turned it on and found that he had 25 voicemail messages. Curious, he listened to them. All from strangers. He deleted each of them in turn, got up, and grabbed his coat. All these phone calls were just bizarre. On the way out, he grabbed the box of candies. Wilson had to try these.

Wilson packed up to leave, worried about facing House when they met for their poker game that evening. Hopefully, whatever had been wrong with him that day had straightened itself out. He noticed his newspaper on the desk and chuckled. He picked it up and opened it to the personals. He found the one he'd put in, and read its contents.

_Intense, blue eyed doctor looking for hot love with right person_

_If interested, call 999-9999_

_I'll be awaiting your call_

He grinned to himself in triumph. House had been getting phone calls. He'd said so. Success was his. Who said he couldn't think up a good prank?

Chase, meanwhile, was still seated outside Cuddy's office, waiting for her to emerge. It was getting late. She had to be coming out soon to go home. And he'd be waiting for her.

"Dr. Chase?" The receptionist asked.

"Yea?"

"Do you want some water? You've been sitting there an awfully long time."

"Sure, thanks."

She got him a paper cup of water and moved to give it to him, but tripped over a stray cord and the paper cup flew from her grasp and hit Chase in the face.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry!" She moved over to him and tried wiping the water off his face with a tissue.

"It's ok, no harm done. What am I doing here?"

She looked at him, confused. "You've been here almost all day, waiting for Dr. Cuddy."

"Why?"

"I'm not really sure."

"Well, I'm going home. Thank you, and have a good evening."

"You too, Dr. Chase."

Chase got up and headed down the hallway, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs.

Cuddy's office door opened a crack, and she stuck her head out.

"Is he gone, Janet?"

"Yes, Dr. Cuddy. He's gone home for the night."

Cuddy breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god." She gathered up her things and headed for home.

House met Wilson in the entryway of the hospital.

"Ready for a game of poker?" Wilson asked tentatively.

"Only if you're ready to get your ass kicked."

Wilson sighed in relief. House was normal again.

They headed out the door and House held out the candy box to Wilson.

"Here. You gotta try one of these. I'm gonna leave them out for the rest of the guys too. You've never tasted anything like them." He grinned evilly as Wilson reached inside the box.

A/N: I'm sorry for the pairings, but they were for humor's sake, and weren't serious. I don't support any of the ones used, they were strictly for laughs. Thank you for reading!


End file.
